Picture your truth
Some days the fear-tiger’s roar is much, much louder than other days.
You know those days where you find yourself fretting over every little thing and then projecting those fears ridiculously far into the future. It’s frustrating because not only does it feel terrible, but it’s absolutely, totally and completely unproductive. A pet peeve of mine!
When I can’t seem to get the fearful thoughts out of my head, it’s usually because something in my daily life tripped me up a bit. Fear sees those as opportune times to slip right in the open crack of my self-doubt and take root.
The other day, it was someone telling me that I should have been able to score a job with Smithsonian or anywhere in the government in two weeks tops. (Read: what is wrong with you?)
My logical brain literally chuckled and was comfortable with the irony of the situation. But it also stirred something in the shadows of my heart that I had been ignoring: my self-doubt.
Just when I thought I had her under control (a funny concept, control), she rears her ugly head and decides to stick around for a few days. At least until I finally faced her.
And you know what I found when I did? She’s actually very pretty.
Self-doubt is a tricky thing to face, because it feels like it’s going to be deathly ugly AND it feeds off of anything you give it. Except it’s actually not ugly and it doesn’t feed off love. It softens with love. I literally feel a physical shift, an opening in my chest, a release from what feels like a tight grip when I focus intently and directly on a fear.
Here’s what I did:
I took my fear by the hand and we took a walk. It’s easier for us to talk when we can move our limbs and breathe deeply. Then, I simply started to list what was important to me: teaching, connecting, expression, growth, truth, flexibility, safety, community, creativity, and open mindedness. As I listed, fear started listening. I could tell because she softened. My heart softened. The roaring in my mind quieted down. These words came from my heart. They weren’t sentences, just words, born of feelings and inner truths (and I mean that in the most authentic-non-hippie-way possible). An expression of myself, I feel afraid when I loose sight of them. Fear just signals the need for a gentle reminder that I haven’t lost sight at all.
This week, try taking your self and your fear(s) for a walk, especially if it’s something that overwhelms you. Breathe deeply. Then feel or recognize your own words in the center of your chest and let them out. When you get home, write them down. You may even want to take a picture (hello camera phone!) that represents one or each of your words.
Let’s show fear how beautiful she really is, shadows and all.
Send me a picture and/or just a word of your favorite truths, and I’ll add them to the virtual “truth” wall I’m making to share with you. It will be spectacular.
Please share on Facebook or email it to: tricia [at] eatingisart [dot] com this week. I can’t wait.
This was also this week’s Photo Note(able) bi-weekly inspiration I send out. I’d love to have you join and sincerely hope you do! As always, I never ever share your information with anyone. Sign up here or on the side bar and see you next week!