“Did you see that last episode of Iron Chef?” is a question I often get. When I tell people the truth (nope), they get disappointed. But honestly, I would rather be in the kitchen myself poking around, trying out different ingredient combinations, and experimenting on my own time. The drama of cooking shows turns me off because there is already so much drama for folks when it comes to food. Watching a show that tells me feeding myself is an insurmountable challenge isn’t my idea of relaxation. Call me crazy.
Most of those shows evoke a feeling of achieving the impossible in the kitchen. The kitchen, the primary room of the house used for taking care, feeding, and nurturing our bodies (and for some of us, our minds and spirits) has instantly become a battleground. This idea of cooking as a form of impossibility has been embedded in the psyche of our culture for too long. Coming home and cooking something that actually tastes good and is good for you seems more like climbing Mt. Everest than just making food.
If I really want some food drama, I’ll make something I’ve never made before using only what I have in my pantry and fridge (watch out, it can get crazy!). But honestly, the challenge for me, and for a lot of us, lies in feeding ourselves well, regularly, while gracefully dealing with the confrontations the rest of our lives can impose upon us.
Last year, I experienced a shift in how I approach food. Living back east where the access to good food—and other things that nourish like clean air, spending quality time outdoors, and taking in breathtaking scenery—are harder to come by than they are back in the Pacific Northwest. This has forced me to be much more aware of not only how I spend my time, but also what I put in my body. When I’m able to nourish myself with beautiful hikes, leisurely afternoons having tea with good friends, and breathing in fresh, pine needle air, I can honestly eat worse. An extra glass of wine, three more cookies, extra butter on a fresh slice of baked bread doesn’t have the same effect as they do when life is a bit more hectic.
But this is just me. The way I deal with adjusting to a more intense pace of life is by pulling back every so slightly and cooking really good food each night. Instead of photographing or thinking too much about it, I’ve been simply enjoying it.
Take twelve full-grown months. Thoroughly cleanse out all bitterness, hate, jealousy, negativity, confusion, and low points; wash them down the kitchen sink for a clean start. Using your best, flavor filled, love infused words, gently massage all the bruised and cut up areas. Pay special attention to the deepest cuts, filling those gashes up past the brim. Marinate until ready to use, gently adding more love infused words daily until it’s ready to prepare.
One month at a time, take out of the marinade and cut into thirty or thirty one equal pieces. Each day, take a new piece out to prepare; allow the rest of the pieces to keep marinating. *Important note: do not attempt to make all the pieces at once. Each piece is unique, different and a meal on it’s own.
Into each piece, add equal parts courage, patience, trust, kindness, honesty, intention, rest, meditation, work, and play. Season with extra fun and good humor.
Enjoy with friends and family; share with those less fortunate; and give the rest to those who annoy the heck out of us but teach us so much. Depending on the season, serve warm or cold.
(Our new nephew Clark!)
Here’s to a wonderful fresh start and gorgeous new year! xo
Picture your truth
Some days the fear-tiger’s roar is much, much louder than other days.
You know those days where you find yourself fretting over every little thing and then projecting those fears ridiculously far into the future. It’s frustrating because not only does it feel terrible, but it’s absolutely, totally and completely unproductive. A pet peeve of mine!
When I can’t seem to get the fearful thoughts out of my head, it’s usually because something in my daily life tripped me up a bit. Fear sees those as opportune times to slip right in the open crack of my self-doubt and take root.
The other day, it was someone telling me that I should have been able to score a job with Smithsonian or anywhere in the government in two weeks tops. (Read: what is wrong with you?)
Yeah. Right.
My logical brain literally chuckled and was comfortable with the irony of the situation. But it also stirred something in the shadows of my heart that I had been ignoring: my self-doubt.
Just when I thought I had her under control (a funny concept, control), she rears her ugly head and decides to stick around for a few days. At least until I finally faced her.
And you know what I found when I did? She’s actually very pretty.
Self-doubt is a tricky thing to face, because it feels like it’s going to be deathly ugly AND it feeds off of anything you give it. Except it’s actually not ugly and it doesn’t feed off love. It softens with love. I literally feel a physical shift, an opening in my chest, a release from what feels like a tight grip when I focus intently and directly on a fear.
Here’s what I did: I took my fear by the hand and we took a walk. It’s easier for us to talk when we can move our limbs and breathe deeply. Then, I simply started to list what was important to me: teaching, connecting, expression, growth, truth, flexibility, safety, community, creativity, and open mindedness. As I listed, fear started listening. I could tell because she softened. My heart softened. The roaring in my mind quieted down. These words came from my heart. They weren’t sentences, just words, born of feelings and inner truths (and I mean that in the most authentic-non-hippie-way possible). An expression of myself, I feel afraid when I loose sight of them. Fear just signals the need for a gentle reminder that I haven’t lost sight at all.
This week, try taking your self and your fear(s) for a walk, especially if it’s something that overwhelms you. Breathe deeply. Then feel or recognize your own words in the center of your chest and let them out. When you get home, write them down. You may even want to take a picture (hello camera phone!) that represents one or each of your words.
Let’s show fear how beautiful she really is, shadows and all.
Send me a picture and/or just a word of your favorite truths, and I’ll add them to the virtual “truth” wall I’m making to share with you. It will be spectacular.
Please share on Facebook or email it to: tricia [at] eatingisart [dot] com this week. I can’t wait.
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This was also this week’s Photo Note(able) bi-weekly inspiration I send out. I’d love to have you join and sincerely hope you do! As always, I never ever share your information with anyone. Sign up here or on the side bar and see you next week!
I’ve been quiet. Not for lack of things going on, changes, transitions, or even transformations. But because I’ve been taking a step back and allowing all this change to finally settle in.
It can be a challenge to just be quiet when you have a blog. There’s a little voice that always says, “just post SOMETHING!” Sometimes I listen to her blindly. But more often, I’ve been flexing a different muscle and speaking with her instead. I ask her, “what should I say? What would be authentic right now? And how does this relate to food?” This line of questioning, of course, inevitably leads to other questions. And then I can feel stuck.
“If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” -John Maxwell
In the grand scheme of things, a lot does come back to food. How we feel in the long term, energy levels, and getting a good night’s sleep are all affected by what we put in our bodies. But food is also just a gateway, an entry point into figuring out other stuff that can feed you even better, even nourish you deeply. And that’s where I’ve been lately.
Then I hear myself asking, “how do I talk about that?”
The other day, while filling out paper work and getting background checked/finger printed to do some volunteer work with the Smithsonian design department, I had a few moments to step into a gorgeous garden behind the castle building on the Mall. It was an oasis, a respite, a physical manifestation of the inner space I’ve been actively trying to cultivate.
Amidst the busy schedule, the straight hustle of city life, freelancing, temp work, volunteering, informational interviewing, socializing, and spending Q.T. time with Andrew, I’ve been finding my groove. My stride. And prioritizing a lot that seemed nebular before. With lack of time comes focus.
I’m shifting, reprioritizing, and thinking. The natural cycle that happens over and over throughout our lifetimes. And I’m really looking forward to reacquainting with my voice after this transition to share this space with you.
“Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here’s a short list of things that I really appreciate:
1. Small town coffee clubs.
2. The joy of writing a Photo Note(able) note to you every other week.
3. A class that has changed the way I approach yoga forever.
4. One of the most amazing collaborative musical projects I have ever seen.
5. Good books that are hard to put down like this and this.
6. Sitting down to enjoy simple and delicious meals: massive salads, grilled spicy tofu, baba ganoush, red cabbage sour kraut, sesame molasses bread, peach crumbles, cold soba noodle salads, smoothies, and crunchy, tart apples. Looks like some recipes are in order for you all here soon.
7. List making.
What’s the number one little thing you’ve been appreciating lately?
Hello there! It’s been a few weeks, but I’m back and now a M.R.S.!
Before I got married, I used to wonder: does marriage change you? Here’s a few things I’ve realized now that I’m a married woman (along with a few pictures I was able to capture while there. The real wedding photos will be posted as soon as I have them from my lovely photographer):
1. Marriage doesn’t change YOU the person. But if you’re with the right person, it enhances you. It makes you live up to your highest self.
2. When I wake up in the morning I may think, “wow, I’m married!” and then I go eat breakfast.
3. Looking into Andrew’s eyes, there is a new and profound understanding of the meaning “team”. It’s really awesome to have someone’s back as much as they have yours. And it feels really good.
4. I teach yoga exactley the same way as before. No change there.
5. He still makes amazing breakfast and does the laundry. I still bake pie and clean the bathroom. No change and a very fair deal.
6. It’s really fun to call him my husband to people we are just meeting. I drop that term as often as possible (and so much better to say than Fiance).
7. Now that the wedding is behind us, it is exciting and fun to think about the future. Dreaming with someone you love is really the best. A great change.
8. It’s not just me anymore, which is a wonderful change. This pushes me to think outside my comfort zone much more and do not only what’s best for myself, but for both of us.
(New Mexico wins the for the best American license plate. Ever.)
9. I have loved watching my husband grow into himself, learning to be comfortable with who he is. It’s been so rewarding to see him achieve some spectacular goals he set for himself as a result of looking inward. What I look forward to most in our marriage is both of us championing and encouraging each other as we grow throughout our lives. There’s nothing better than having someone encourage you when you feel discouraged, lend a hand and a shoulder when you’ve fallen, and feel as excited and giddy as you during those joyous moments. We all change and grow daily. My wish is to recognize and honor that growth in both of us, feeding it with care and compassion, and sharing our new found selves with each other often. That and have as much fun as possible (no change there, either!).
Thank you, Andrew, for the honor of being my husband, XOXO.
What is it about hands that are so captivating? They connect us with the world around us through work, touch, and holding on tight. They help us understand things better, they help us understand each other better—think: old adage about your handshake with the world. I’ve found them fascinating to watch, especially in a place as tactile as the farmer’s market.
Touch is such a huge part of the buying process there—is this ripe enough? does it feel bruised or broken? We use our hands to pick out the choicest morsels to bring home, to eat, to savor. And I’ve found myself more and more drawn to photographing them in action. Over and over I see people reenacting this ritual of feeling, touching, caressing, and picking, filling their bags until they reach that pivotal and personal point of “I’m done.”
Ed Brown, in his book The Tassajara Cookbook, talks about liberating our hands in a way that has stuck with me since I first read it several years ago:
“Our hands love to handle things, to do things: knead bread, caress cheeks, dig with a shovel, fiddle with wiring, pluck guitar strings. Hands that are idle grow restless and bored and, worse perhaps, begin to feel useless and unappreciated… Hands love to do what hands can do, but the mind often says, “No, you can’t. I don’t feel like it.” The hands are ready, the mind is what’s reluctant.”
It is a simple and fundamental pleasure I feel when I am busy, productive, and making with my hands. It’s that “I did this, I made this!” kind of satisfaction—even if it is just bringing home the best darn produce I could find from the market. Although, the satisfaction is even greater when it’s pottery or bread or looking at the garden I planted.
What have your hands done today that have helped you understand something better, or they’ve made that you are proud of?
When I incessantly worry, it inevitably comes back and bites me in the behind. Always. When I take a moment to reflect on the situation, maybe even (gasp!) take a step back and give the issue some breathing room, solutions generally appear. And if they don’t immediately, they do eventually.
It’s easy to think we don’t have a choice when it comes to letting our minds run rampant with worry. The easy thing to do is let our brain run free with it’s “what-ifs” and “oh-my-gods,” but the true treasure is finding peace within by addressing our brains-gone-wild. You wouldn’t let a three year old run out into a busy street to play in traffic, so why would you let your own mind run wild without a little safe keeping and tenderness?
Today I went to the store to buy a boat load of berries for a photo shoot tomorrow, but they were all out of blueberries. “But those are the main feature of the shoot! What am I going to do?! (insert more worrying remarks here…).” Then I looked to my right. Blackberries were in and they were lookin’ mighty tasty. “But, but…!” my mind was saying. So I mentally took myself by the hand, and gently said: hey, those blackberries would totally work in the galettes you are planning on making tomorrow. Why don’t you give them a try, it’ll be a nice twist to the usual blueberry recipe you were planning on anyway!
I know that what works for me will not necessarily work for everyone. But I’ve gotta say, being nice to yourself and open to solutions definitely makes life a heck of a lot easier than full on rigidity. In fact, I highly recommend trying it. What have you got to loose?
Yesterday, I opened up twitter and was greeted with this timely message:
@tarasophia: You don’t have to get rid of fear. If you are living an authentic life, it will be there. Can it become your traveling companion?
Hell, yes it can. And it must. Here’s why:
The more scared we feel, the closer we are to getting to the point, to the juicy goodness of what we’re supposed to be doing with our lives. If we have an emotive reaction to something, obviously there is a button being pushed within ourselves—something that needs our attention and care. It’s a soft spot, usually something that we’ve been trying to hide from ourselves so we can fit in and go along with the status quo. Nobody likes the guy who turns over the apple cart, right? Ahem.
As I am shifting, no, allowing myself to live a more authentic life, I’m finding a lot of old crap that needs to be purged. This old stuff’s constant reflection back to me is something to be noted as well. Andrew, more than once, in his timely and calm demeanor has looked me in the eye and said “that sounds like an excuse.” Ninety nine percent of the time, it is—one hundred percent if I completely let go of my ego—but this straightforward information can be hard to hear when you are busy making yourself believe in stupid excuses. There isn’t a luckier gal in the world to have someone like him as my companion and best friend. He keeps things real and simple. Simple isn’t always easy.
Today I sat down and finally wrote down all that I’ve been thinking about accomplishing and doing. I created an action plan, something to go forth with to manifest my dreams. Say what? You can do that? Yes! Deep down I’ve always known I would have my own business and create my own life; I have spent the past four years fighting myself and my creative offerings. I’m happy to say the fight with myself is over, but fear has now become a constant companion—one that I am learning to embrace and live with. Without it, I would know I’m on the wrong track.
Once you figure out what’s getting in the way (in this case, it was myself), it’s far easier to find the answer. Stuck is a state of mind, a disconnect from the heart, and the good news is, it’s curable.
What’s this have to do with garlic scapes? Nothing. Other than I wanted to tell you I made the best (and easiest) garlic scape and Cannelloni bean spread yesterday. Toast up some little slices of baguette, spread that stuff on, and you may find yourself in another state of enlightenment. Or at least well satiated.
Cheers!
1.
embrace my talents as well as my short comings.
2.
swim in my pool at least three x’s a week.
3.
focus focus focus.
4.
reach out to those who my inner critic says I shouldn’t.
5.
befriend my inner critic.
6.
obtain a Kombucha mother and make a never ending supply.
7.
give myself the same advice I give my best friends.
8.
find my niche/tribe through authenticity and sincerity.
9.
have more sparkling cocktails in my life.
10.
get married.
How about you?
